Because I'm judging you. And you. And you too. All the time. My mind is quite busy making assessments about everyone I come in contact with every day. Who are you? What are you wearing? Do I like it? What about your lipstick? What did you just say? Are you smart? Nice? Deep? Shallow? Funny? Insightful? Creepy? Where have you been? What have you seen? Who do you know? And on and on.
I've been ashamed to admit that I am a Judgy McJudger. I think I've been ashamed because my community--the New Age Community--keeps telling me that it's wrong to judge. They express it in a myriad of ways...they outright say it in person and on social media, create memes and quote big deal people like Buddhist monks, best selling authors, Jesus--even Oprah, all in an attempt to shame me out of my judginess. Never mind that it seems perfectly acceptable to everyone when I wish to share a positive judgment...I get the proverbial pat on the back for it. It's just anything that's uncomfortable, challenging or in the realm of the negative that so many people give me the stink eye. Well, up until now it's worked. I've kept still. I've suppressed my opinions, ideas, beliefs and feelings on numerous topics and people doing various things all in the name of, "It's wrong to judge."
Forget it. I'm done. I think we've swung the "Don't Judge Me" pendulum way too far out of it's orbit. It often defies logic and common sense. We've now become a group of people who often lack a backbone, not to mention a moral compass. I'm advocating to get them back. Speak up when you don't like something! Talk about the behavior and actions of others you find questionable! Often times, when I speak up about something--finally saying what's been rumbling around in my brain for the longest, I find at least a couple of very relieved faces in the crowd. Whispers of, "Oh me too!" or, "Yeah, I thought maybe it was just me who felt that way!" Sure, sometimes I also get the little sniffle and sideways, "Well, it isn't my place to judge...," which always makes me feel like that person is judging me...which is what they are preaching for me not to do! Oh, it's so sticky.
When did this, "Don't Judge Me" thing actually take over and turn us all into new-agey zombies?
Speaking of Oprah--back when Oprah had her talk show, I recall she had this rape expert on to discuss how women can be safer and protect themselves from an attacker. Something he shared during that hour has stuck with me ever since. He said something like, "We are the only species that will get a bad feeling in our gut about a person and ignore it or talk ourselves out of it. A deer never says, 'Oh, I'm sure he's really a nice guy and wouldn't hurt me.' No! That deer is outta there so fast at the first inkling of danger...could care less if it's right or whether it 'hurt' the human's feelings." I think what I'm advocating here is to connect with and listen to your inner deer. When something or someone feels wrong, bad or scary, it's alright to run like mad and ask questions later, or even heaven forbid, get it wrong. Jeez, the Little Judgy McJudger within you might just save your life!
Listening to that inner voice and its innate wisdom is incredibly powerful, and being able to discuss it among those we respect and trust is the gift that keeps on giving. It helps others trust their inner Judgy McJudger too. That Judger is helping you and me develop discernment, perspective, boundaries and integrity--not to mention style, taste and more than a few things to aspire to and motivate us to greatness!
So go on. Judge me. I don't mind.
Here are some of my Bliss Bubble Radio track suggestions to create your very own guilt-free zone:
1. "Kirtan Feels Good" by CC White
2. "Om Shakti" by Trevor Hall
3. "Brahma Nandam" by Deva Premal
4. "He Ma Durga" by Lana Sugarman
5. "Baba Hanuman" by Krishna Das
Like what you hear? You can support these artists by purchasing their music via their websites or sites like iTunes. Supporting artists who create music for a Bliss Bubble life does your soul good. Mmmmmhhhhhmmm.
*Oh my, how the times and the political climate have changed since I wrote this cheeky little blog last May! I wrote it after feeling fed up with too many instances where I felt peer-pressured into keeping silent or observed friends lacking healthy boundaries because we were afraid to appear "judgy." And then I never published because it seemed too edgy...too controversial. In the interest of leading a life filled with more courage and less fear, I've decided to publish it and face possible criticism. I am in NO way advocating to harshly or negatively judge someone based on race, religion, cultural differences or the like. I hope you will read and take it in the true spirit it was written and not go down any extreme or hateful road. I think we can all agree that a heart filled with hate does not create a blissful life.